Mac' Chandler is supposedly retired. At the end of 2022 I moved from Rochester MI to the milder climate of North Carolina and a condo without steps much more suited to my age. (75 as I write this)
Writing is still fun and I intend to continue as long as my mind stays fresh. I'm not a expert on English or a skilled grammarian but I love t tell a story. I thank all the people who take a moment to tell me they enjoyed my work.
But about 88% of the way in, it goes from 1st person to 3rd mid conversation, and stays 3rd person?
Also, at the end, someone is affected by the scene, when they’re not even in that part of the galaxy…
But I enjoyed it!
Spooky huh? Just joking that last sentence was an error with the names. I’ll see if I can at least switch views at a break.
Looked at it. I’m not comfortable staying in first person at the end. I think it is still clear what is happening so I’m leaving it.
But changed last sentence to – It made Violet gasp in shock, but it was very satisfying, because it made everything clear to her. Thanks. I appreciate having that pointed out.
Sorry to bug you off subject but when do you suppose we will see a new April or Family Law? Are you working? Do you have a plan? Hope, hope, hope …. It’s always something, huh?
This sentence in the description on Amazon is not doing you any favors.
“When the people ahead of them drop a time machine in the driveway leaving a sale they are scrupulously honest.”
How would you change it? It’s running #1 in all science fiction short reads so it must not be hurting it too bad, but I’m open to suggestions. Or is your suggestion it gives too much away?
I don’t understand what “leaving a sale they are scrupulously honest.” has to do with the first part of the sentence; it’s non-sequitur.
The first part “When the people ahead of them drop a time machine in the driveway” stands on it’s own.
I haven’t read the book, so I’m not sure what you’re trying to say.
Jack, does this clarify it for you?
“When the people leaving a garage sale ahead of them drop a time machine in the driveway, they try to return it.”
Yes. “When the people leaving a garage sale ahead of them drop a time machine in the driveway, they try to return it.” Then: But being scrupulously honest proves to be surprisingly difficult.
I am informed by a reader that my description was an amphiboly. That is, a statement that is ambiguous because of its grammatical structure.
I’m betting most people make the jump from a found object to demonstrating honesty vs just keeping it. But perhaps you are right – in today’s moral climate I better detail the choices.
Sorry for the delay, I never received the follow up notifications.
My point was, if your description has a sentence that is grammatically incorrect; what’s the book like?
LOL Imperfect it is!
Something that always struck me about time travel is that considering that the Earth is spinning on its axis while moving around the sun and flying through space away from the center of the universe then wouldn’t moving in time without also moving great distances in space leave you floating in the middle of nowhere trying to learn how to breath vacuum?
Also thanks for the book, I rather enjoyed it. ^^
Oh and you would have to match the way the destination is moving at the time you arrive or it might end poorly… like getting flung into space or egg shot out of a cannon into a brick wall poorly.
Nah we just apply a single layer of hand wavyum to assume a temporal transition negates and resets all physical movement.
Huh. Now I know what an amphiboly is. The more you know…
select amphiboly and right mouse and ‘Search Google for ‘amphiboly’, or copy and paste it.